While it has been an exciting, depressing, shocking, and overwhelming week in general for America, it has been an even more emotional and exciting week for our family!
While I haven’t felt much like getting out of the bed since Monday, I did get up Tuesday to join my hubby to vote. I feel honored to exercise my right as an American citizen. I’ve always said that I’m a terrible citizen bc I’ve never cared much about politics. I am a firm believer that God’s got the whole world in His hands (learned at a very early age)! I have friends, some who are more like family, of all races, religions, sexual orientation and nationalities! I respect their beliefs and opinions, and I expect them to respect mine! This is why I lay low, it’s not really that I don’t care, but, just like everything else in life…we have NO control when it really comes down to it! We were not blessed with life here on earth to be judgmental! It is NOT our place. James 4:12 says this, “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor.” Okay, Im done. Thanks for listening!
Now, for the good and exciting news!
It was hard to sleep Sunday night, but we slept better than I thought we would! Our Monday started at about 4:15 am. I’m so glad my parents went with us because it was nice knowing they were there! My mom surprised me with my absolute favorite lip stuff that morning!! She always thinks of the little things! I woke up that morning with a peace and comfort, knowing everything was going to be okay! We got to the office at 6:30 am, everything was all locked up, but there’s a phone to call and let them know your there. When I called, my favorite nurse answered. I felt even more at peace at this point! We were the ONLY people there, it was a little eerie! She took us back to the procedure suite to get us checked in and prepped. I felt like royalty! We were the only retrieval that day! I got changed, she started my IV in one stick (yay), and she started my antibiotic. I also got nausea meds before. My anesthesiologist was wonderful! She was super sweet, patient and very calming! At about 7:15 they took Nicholas to do his thing! They took me back right at 8. Nicholas got to stay with me the whole time, and he was there when I woke up! The knocked me out for the procedure, so I didn’t feel a thing. My 3 favorite doctors were in the room! I was so excited! When Dr. Bates (he did my surgery 8 years ago), asked what kind of music we wanted to listen to, it did bring back some memories bc I remember him asking the same exact thing right before I was put to sleep for my surgery then.
I woke up soon after they were done. The first thing I wanted to know what how many eggs they were able to get! They got 17!! So now we would wait till the next day to find out how many fertilized! We were headed home by about 10:30. I felt okay, crampy, but okay. Got home and went to bed. I was able to eat some lunch about 12:30. took a pain pill about 1pm, then my prescribed steroid at about 2:30. After that, I was beyond nauseated. I felt extremely weird. I’m not sure I have ever felt that way before. I felt like I was outside of my body. I was scared that it was the steroid, but we think it was just a mixture of all the meds and coming off anesthesia. I was miserable. I slept off and on all day and then slept through the night.
Luckily, I felt better on Tuesday! Nausea was pretty much gone. Crampiness still ever so present. I’m not sure what I thought I was going to feel like afterwards, but I wasn’t prepared to hurt! The most comfortable position was laying down, in my bed. I started taking estrogen yesterday too. I have NEVER taken so many drugs in my life! Here’s the exciting news we received…
As of Tuesday, we have 10 embryos growing!!
When my nurse told me this, tears of joy started pouring from my eyes. 10 is a great number! 12 actually fertilized and 10 look good! I automatically felt like we have 10 babies. That doesn’t include the sweet one God chose not to give us just yet back in February! They will not recheck them until tomorrow. We are scheduled for our transfer on Saturday morning! We will find out then how many survived, and how they have been graded. We will also find out how many they will transfer. There’s no guarantee that any will survive, but our hope is in the Lord. He has held us and carried us through this entire process! He will carry us always. So until Saturday morning, I will sit around wondering and believing, but resting assured that God already knows!
My devotion from Tuesday was incredibly fitting. The header said this, “Today you can give way to fear-producing “what-ifs” or rest in the sovereign care of your wise and gracious Savior King” All of our personal stories, are a part of an even bigger story. They are all part of God’s huge plan, a story that will never end. Our lives, our personal stories, are just a small part of an even bigger one! I just have to share this part too…
“Your inclusion in this story took place before you breathed your first breath; in fact, it took place before anyone breathed his or her first breath. Because your story is woven into the fabric of the redemption story, there is meaning, purpose, and direction to every part of it. The inertia of redemption carries your story along. The goal of redemption guarantees your destiny. The future grace of eternity secures for you all the grace you will ever need in between. No, you won’t understand all that you face, and yes, God’s will will confuse you at points, but your story has been infused with meaning and purpose because it’s been included in God’s story of redemption and restoration.”
Even though every step has gone well so far, it’s still hard not to have “what-if”, or “why” moments. Why were they only able to retrieve 17 eggs? Why did only 10 eggs fertilize? Why did my life seem so unfair this past weekend? What if none of our embryos survive? What if they survive but aren’t good enough for transfer? Why am I still so uncomfortable? What if I get over-stimulated and my body rejects the transfer? Will I be able to endure this process again if it doesn’t work this time? You get the point, I could go on. Here’s my point, if it weren’t for God’s redeeming grace, I would absolutely lose my mind! Thank goodness His mercies are new every single morning. He provides all the grace we need in the meantime!!
When my IVF nurse, who actually went through IVF herself, called today, I asked her if I was being a wimp bc I’m still so uncomfortable. She reassured me that I was not. My ovaries are still large and stimulated. There is a risk for overstimulation even after the transfer is done. We pray that this does not happen! I am on a lot of medications and my body has to adjust to a new one almost every day right now. This is just a season, and we are already stronger because of it! I am reminded of this verse from Ecc 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This is our time, our story, all a part of God’s even bigger plan. His timing is absolutely perfect!
Nicholas has been patiently meeting my every need. Every time I grimace or moan, he is there. Every time I need a drink or something to eat, he is there. Every time I need to cry, he is there. Every time I need to take a pill, he is there. God knew that he was the only man that would be patient and humble enough to take care of me!!
My parents have been there for us 100%. They were there to support us Monday and they brought us dinner Tuesday night! I’ve also been a couch potato at their house a couple of days, just to get out of our house! They also cater to my every need!
I may still be uncomfortable, but we are in a good place!! We are very excited! I feel calm, relaxed, and peaceful. I’m not worried or scared. I know that God’s will will be done. I don’t know how anyone could go through this process without His grace, or without friends and family praying them through it! Thank you all for your prayers!! Keep them coming!